TRANSCRIPT

Jina Seer (00:00.268)

Record. We got it. Okay. Hi, Laura. Welcome. Okay, so I'm pretty excited for this conversation. I think you all were all connected on Instagram, I think. And I'm just starting to be more on Instagram. And just I will say I have used that app to it used to make me just feel like.

WTF, what is going on? I hate this app. I hate being on it as a spectator. I hate creating on it. And I would say in the last year, I have Jedi mind-tricked myself to actually enjoy it and like enjoy what I'm posting. And so, in thinking about this and thinking about just the whole return to yourself thing and talking about it more and more on Instagram.

It's actually just given me so many more ideas of like how we could maybe go deeper into it in the membership. because I think it's what's so hard about the work that I do the way I see it anyway, is that a lot of people are struggling with the stuff that we're struggling with or have these questions of like, well, I don't really know what I want, or

I think I know what I want, but how do I have these difficult conversations or whatever? And the thing is, is that most people don't even know that they have those questions. But because I am who I am, like when I talk to people, it doesn't stay surface for too long. And I live amongst great people, but they're all just like run-of-the-mill Christians. You know what I mean? Like they don't they're not like pulling tarot cards, they're not wondering about astrology, not yet anyway.

And I have been like, my gosh, this is so prevalent. And it just made me appreciate where I'm at even more and made me appreciate you all even more to be like, we're awake to this. Like it feels sometimes it feels hard. Sometimes it feels like, why is this tiny thing of like knowing what I want such a difficult question? But the truth is, is like most people aren't.

Jina Seer (02:21.288)

Even thinking like that. They're not even asking those questions. And I'm sure you guys could name like 10 people in your everyday life. But then we watch these people and it's like, what are you doing? Like, why are you sabotaging? Whatever. And we can see it in ourselves. And it becomes this like, I don't know, it's it's like this spiral that we can kind of some days it takes me down, but I have gotten so good at just like letting that spiral.

like teach me even more about myself, like when I do feel like I'm getting into a negative space. Anyway, all of this is to say that today we're gonna go even more into that. And then in October, we're gonna get even more into that nitty-gritty if you want to take that path. So today we're gonna, I'm gonna talk a little bit more about this, kind of my path with like knowing what you want. And my hope is is that when I share that,

It might just like spur memories in your own mind or at least bring like little blips on the radar screen where you're like, yeah, I actually have been thinking about this thing forever. Cause that's the thing too. We have so many ideas and we know so much about ourselves, but a lot of it is like subconscious. And until someone names it or says, Are you doing this? Then it's like, my God, I am. So I'm gonna share a little bit more about my story and just a couple examples of that.

And then you all can share with me, of course, and then we'll go into just like a short meditation. I have some journaling questions just for you to be quiet and like see if you can get some clarity around it. Maybe it's something that'll be brand new for you that comes up. Maybe it'll be something that's something that you has been kicking around in your mind, but you might get new ideas about it. And then of course, like through all of this, whether it's like

Even a hypnotic journey that you've done outside of this, unrelated to this, unrelated. It's all related. you can always ask those questions too. But then after that, we'll have time to have a little bit more in-depth discussion. And as always, you don't have don't feel pressure to share if you've share here or not. If you want to share more in the future, if you're listening to the replay, you can always do a comment. and I would I'll respond to that. I love reading your comments. I love seeing like what's going on in your mind.

Jina Seer (04:39.734)

So anything like that, just know like you can ask those questions and also know like what we're talking about today. There's never any pressure for you to like know it, know it all. the could the answer of I don't know, I wish I knew, I want to know, but it's not coming. Like all of those are valid. And what I have planned in October is is to not only do the monthly gathering, but I want to

Do more than that. So there'll probably be like a couple extra calls or at least one extra meeting in October for that. And it's really so for me, this conversation, my hope is that in it enlightens you to like things that are going on in your mind that can help you move forward. But it'll really help me kind of craft, like based on where you guys are at, where I want to take this thing.

kind of craft what that little bit more like immersive intensive situation will be in October. So do not hold back. Like I'm totally fine if you're like this doesn't make sense or I have no idea. You know, whatever. I'm I mean, I don't know how else to say this, but sometimes I feel like the densest motherfucker on this planet. However, I'm completely aware or I feel like I have a lot of awareness. So if you feel like it's taking you a long time

Trust me when I say it will not take you as long as it took me to find this stuff out because I it took me so long and I'm aware. So it's like I can kind of like painfully watch it step by step. And I would love to help you avoid that. Okay. So with that in mind, let me just make sure. one other thing I wanted to say. The October gathering, like I aim for the second Saturday of every month.

But October is gonna be October 4th, which is a Sunday. I'll remind you of that at the end. And then of course I'll have like posts about it in Patreon so you know. and then of course this will be recorded and I will share this on Patreon probably this afternoon, but very soon. Okay, so kind of the question I want to start out with that I just want you to think about to start out with is have you

Jina Seer (07:02.932)

Ever had a recurring image in your mind, vision, a sense, even of a life that you would like to live, whether it's a full-on life or maybe it's like a portion of your life. And it might be something you've already accomplished, but in my history, I know that and some people would call these premonitions, some people call it imagination, some people call it intuition. Some people, which I think is cool, is

will even think of it as the sense of like your future self kind of like coming back in time and being like, do this thing or here's a vision, aim toward that. So it's like, have you ever had this recurring image or sense of something that you want to do in this life, whether it's the whole life or just a certain thing? And I'll give you a couple examples from my life and then you just maybe it'll jog your memory. but right now, like as I look out this window, I can see this

hill and it's actually an extinct volcano. It like erupted like fourteen million or billion. I don't know if it's an or or a B years ago, long time ago. But it's just now looks like just like a green hill when it rains. and I didn't even really this hill that I live by didn't even really register for me when I was like moving from Minnesota to Arizona.

But when I lived here, when I like got here and started looking at trails and started hiking, I'm like, dang, this hill is so familiar to me. And I know I've told this story before, but it's it's literally like when I was a kid, I would just go places in my mind. Like I if I was uncomfortable, if I hated what I was doing, if I was around people that were stressing me out, I would just go places in my mind. And one of the places that I would envision.

was this big green hill. And it was just beautiful. And I just loved it. And that was when I was a kid. And then when I was in college, I had this job where I had like a regular computer set up. And remember, I don't know if it still is, but like the Microsoft screen saver or automatic like desktop picture was this big green hill. And I remember thinking like, dang, this looks just like what I used to picture like as a kid. And sometimes at that job I remember just like

Jina Seer (09:29.774)

Sitting on the stool and just like staring at that picture, just like, like, I'm out of here, you know? And it was always super relaxing to me. And it never was even something that I verbalized to anybody else. I don't even know if it was something that I really got consciously in my brain. Then when I moved here, I was like, dang, I've been seeing this hill my whole life. And I'm someone who I, if I'm feeling blocked.

Creatively or just with ideas, even difficult conversations with other people, difficult situations. I am definitely someone who like needs to go out on a walk. I have to move my body to get that energy moving. So I can like start getting ideas, start kind of workshopping it in my brain. But I'm not kidding. Every time I hike this hill or old volcano, it is like, and here are your life instructions for the week. And it'll be like,

This thing you've been thinking about, here's all the details. This thing you've been thinking about, here's how you're gonna write the email. This thing you've been thinking about, here's how that's gonna come into practice. And it's almost like everything I used to get from nature, it's like I get it there, but I get it times 10. It's kind of crazy. So it and then when I bought this house, when I put in the offer, you know how it's like, no one's bought no one's put in an offer. This house has been on the market forever.

And then it's like, you put in an offer, and then immediately the realtor's like, well, someone else submitted an offer today too. You know, it's like no shade on realtors. But I'm like, every fucking time, like, how convenient. But whatever. I'm like, I've bought and sold enough houses to know that this is how it's gonna go. So literally every day I would walk and look at this hill, and I would be like, if I can live in a house where I can look out a window and see this hill.

I will worship this hill, whatever it means. Like I'll pray to it. I'll talk to it every day. And I did get the house. And I do do that every day. And it's such a key to my peace and my creativity now. And I just think it's so interesting that it has been a piece of my peace since I was a little kid. And whether it was like

Jina Seer (11:50.178)

This actual hill, or I was just like daydreaming and it's one big coincidence. Who cares? To me, that's like the least interesting part of it. To me, the most interesting part of it is like, wow, like something that I was dreaming of as a kid. I didn't even think like I'm gonna have this as an adult. And now I do, and now it's such like a really beautiful part of my life. This other I'll share one more. I was in college and my one of my boyfriends in college, which

A college boyfriend. Of course, he was a disaster. But one of the things he asked me was, What is your perfect like dream day, dream life? And I was like, whoa, like I did, I had never thought of that. And it just kind of, I remember thinking like, whoa, this picture just popped in my head. And it was like I was eating breakfast, my dog was beside me. I was out on this patio. And just the way I felt about work.

The way I felt about money, it was like it all came in an instant. And it was so different from who I was then. But I described the day and was like, wow, even to the point of like what I was eating for breakfast. And that just always stuck in my mind. And it was this throwaway question by some weirdo, you know, from 25 years ago. And

Couple years ago, after I had moved into this house, I was eating breakfast on my patio with a one of my dogs beside me. And I was like, my God, I have created that life. Like, that's how I feel about my work. That's how I feel about money. That's how I feel about my morning schedule, my morning routine. And it was almost like without necessarily trying, I had taken this like beautiful vision that would spontaneously pop in my head.

And I'm like, what if I would have taken that more seriously twenty-five years ago? You know, like, well, who cares? Because now we're here and now we're doing it. But I'm wondering if you all do you have any sort of experience like that, whether it has actually come to fruition or if it's something that's just always in the back of your mind. Do either any of you have that?

Jina Seer (14:16.792)

There we go. Sorry, unmuting my mic there. so I I have a recurring kind of vision that keeps coming to me when I do your sessions when I'm listening. And then also, like since I was quite young too, is just this idea of I don't know, I like I'm I'm in like I have a healing power. I have a way to like connect with

energies and just like just know how things work like plants and and and rhythms and and things and it's always been there in me but i've never known like how to use it or what it's there for and so in the world that we live in where it's you know

People tell you how you have to be or what you have to do. And then you s slowly stop listening to that voice of well, I feel this in me, but then, you know, it's like, woo-hoo, you know, and then and then people start thinking you're like crazy or you know, you're like where is your mind? And so then, you know, you suppress it. But in the visions that I've been having

you know, in your meditations, I am going back to these lives where I am a woman who is contributing something to the community in a very meaningful way. sometimes I'm part of a circle of women and you know, we're contributing something to that that that community. And yeah, and so now I'm just like, you know, I'm gravitated to

more can I gravitate to more people who have like-mindedness in that. And to me that brings me much comfort and it makes me feel like, okay, well, I'm not crazy. Yeah, totally, totally. And that actually that's a really good point in the sense of like you can have that vision.

Jina Seer (16:35.702)

And you can just know it feels good. And and even that, it's like a theme from like different lifetimes, different information that you're getting. And you don't even have to be that healer woman yet, whatever that might look like for you. And you can start just being like, Well, I'm gonna get more of those people in my life. And I think that we, or at least for me, I would often look at that and just be like, I don't even know what that is. Like, what? And

I think if we take that a little bit more seriously, I see this in my past where I'm like, what if I would have taken this information that I've always known about myself a little bit more seriously? Like, how far could I have gone earlier? Right. And then also I think everything happens for a reason, blah, blah, blah. but I think that that's a really powerful move too to be like, okay, well, I don't know what that is, or I can't do that tomorrow.

But how can I get more of that in my life? And sometimes it is just like finding people who talk like that, who think like that, who allow you to talk and think like that without being like, are you okay? You know what I mean? because it's totally true. Yeah. I love that. Okay, cool. And I like what you said, like how to use it.

And what it's there for. Like I'm still wondering how to use it and what it's there for. And that that encapsulates like exactly what I want to help people with more specifically on these journeys. Because it's like we clear away all this trauma or we heal ourselves or whatever. And we're just kind of like

Now what? And I think that we can take that in that energy of like reflection and change and be like, now we're up leveling. Like, yeah, life is good, good enough, and now we're gonna make it better than we ever thought. I know for me I went through a phase a few years ago where I was just like contemplating my work and thinking why? Like, why are we doing the why are we digging in our shadows? Like just fuck the world, do what you want, none of it matters.

Jina Seer (18:51.98)

You know what I mean? But like for me, if I'm in that mental state, I am not feeling good. Like I'm feeling a version of my own depression. And so I had to be like so what is next, Gina? Like this is your life. Like what is next? And that I think is where so many of my clients in the past, I feel like they have either broke through that or they just kind of hang out right there.

And they're just like, I don't know, like my daily life is good, but am I like fired up? Am I feeling the spark? Am I expressing myself in a way I want to? Am I creative? And maybe not everyone wants to do that. But I think when we can really understand who we are on that soul level, we can't help but like want to do more. And sure, more for other people, but like more for ourselves too. And when we are connected to that dis divine spark that we are.

I just think I one time or a few times have had there always men say the way you talk is dangerous, like telling people to follow their desires and stuff like that. And it's like, bro, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to women who have been stifled their whole life. Because look who's running the world. Insane people. Like you can follow your heart. What does that mean? You're gonna.

Smoke a little more weed than you did before. You're gonna help a few more people, you're gonna feel better waking up. Like, how bad could our bad be? You know what I mean? It's just like, I'm a good person. If I'm filled up, I want to help other people. And I know that's true for like, I don't know if I've ever had a client where I was like, ooh, I don't think that they should be following their heart. Like when people are earnest and they wanna learn and they wanna grow and change, I just think it's such an advantage to be like,

What are you dreaming about? That's like I almost think if you don't have dreams that make you feel embarrassed to say them out loud, they're so big. Like I think you need to dream so big that your dreams are like embarrassing to tell people. why not? Like we are good ass people. We're connected to our core, to our soul, to our wisdom. And yeah, so I thank you, Laura. That was great. Thanks.

Jina Seer (21:18.966)

Anybody else wanna say anything?

Good. Okay. All right. So what we're gonna do, let me pull these up. So with that in mind, and again, I just want to reiterate whether you're listening now or to the replay, if you do not have those things, if you are like it's a total blank. I don't know if I've ever thought about it. That may I'm just excited to dig into that too, because I feel like that is just a lid on so many people who have been healing for so long.

I think this is the next evolution, you know? I know for me it got to a point where I was like, yo, this therapist situation has been going on for decades. Like, what do I do to up-level this bitch? You know? And I think we need that vision in order to do it. Okay, I'll stop talking about that. All right. So

Moving on, we're gonna do this short practice. So, what I'm gonna do is just lead us through a little meditation. What I like to do anytime I'm journaling, trying to go deep, is like connect to my like the benefic waves of creation. You can call it God, you can call it hot yourself, whatever. I think it's good to put spiritual boundaries in place, and I think it's good to ground into the earth. Anytime this is a discussion for a different day, which I know we'll get into in this membership.

But anytime we are thinking about going out of ourself and like going into the ethers and getting answers, I just think it's a really good move to connect to yourself, connect to your creator, whoever that might be, however you see that, and connect to the earth. I just I think that there's a lot of influence around us in the seen and unseen realms. So anytime

Jina Seer (23:11.348)

I encourage people to go deep. I like to at least bring them through that practice. So we'll do that. That's just a a few minutes. And then I'm gonna say a question and you're just gonna open your eyes and just write free write anything that comes to your mind. And we are so used to our automatic is to filter, is to make things look good. You don't have to say a word about it. You don't have to show anyone this. You can go tear it up. You can burn it when you're done. But I want you to write like the most honest things, even if they're

weird or ugly or you wish they weren't true, or it feels weird to write it or to say it, just put it on paper and you can dissect it later. So we'll do that. I have a few questions, two of them, maybe three, and then we'll come out of that and then you can discuss if you want to. I have some follow-up questions too, and we'll talk about just how we can go a little bit deeper with that.

So with that in mind, go ahead and make sure you have like a pen and paper nearby you wherever you kind of get comfortable. And then if it feels good, if you feel like you can relax and go within a little bit more without your camera on, you can feel free to shut your camera off either way. and then when we pop the eyes open, you can just start free writing. I'll give you a few minutes and then I'll let you know when we're done there. And then of course at the end, if

If I start talking, we're moving the meeting along and you still have things to write, like keep writing. Like that is gold. You want to get that stuff out. And then know that if this was something you wanted to do more often, you can do this all the time on your own. So whether you're listening to this or you're just kind of replaying it in your mind. All right, let's do it. So go ahead and get comfy, sit in your chair, relax your shoulders, blink your eyes closed, maybe

Put your hands somewhere on your body, like your legs, thighs, maybe your heart, your belly. Just kinda check in with yourself, feel yourself breathing.

Jina Seer (25:16.3)

And just start by taking just like two or three really deep breaths. So like a full breath in and then a full breath out. And on that exhale, really think kind of relax the shoulders, relax your face, relax your body.

Jina Seer (25:38.976)

And then whenever you're done with those deep breaths, just return to the natural rhythm of your breath.

Jina Seer (25:47.148)

And then I want you to imagine, envision, connect to with your thoughts that divine spark within you. So I like to think of this as just like this little spark of light at the very center of my being. So it might be at your chest, it might be at your belly, but just imagine that spark that you are.

And then just feel yourself breathe as you imagine that spark and connect to who you are just by holding that spark in your mind. And then as you breathe, just imagine that spark of light growing bigger and brighter and just getting so big and so bright that it begins to shine out all around you. You can imagine it just like bursting of beautiful light, kind of burning off any.

Anything you want to let go of, anything that doesn't serve your highest and greatest good, that's in your energy field, just imagine your light getting bigger, brighter, shining out all around you, cleansing your energy field, giving you even more connection to who you are on that soul level. And then you can imagine this light beginning to form a protective barrier all around you.

And just have your light surround you with its love and protection. Your light is your protection. And so just imagine that shining out and creating that ball of light, that barrier all around you.

Jina Seer (27:29.952)

And then keeping that ball of light going, just shifting your attention to light, a light source from the highest source, from the divine creator.

And you might kind of feel that divinity in your heart as you think about it, but whether you do or whether you don't, with your intention, connect to that divine creative force within the universe. And then just invite a beam of that light down to you.

And you can imagine that light just hovering above the crown of your head. And then just imagine the crown of your head opening up and just allow that light to come in. And just see what it does. It might kind of feel like your imagination, but just imagine that light completely filling you up from head to toe or toe to head.

From inside to outside, just imagine that divine healing light.

Filling your entire body, bringing you peace, wisdom, and healing.

Jina Seer (28:53.706)

And then bring your awareness back to like the center of you again. And now connect to your grounding root system. So just imagine some roots, whether they look like tree roots or plant roots or just energetic lines going from your core down into the earth.

Jina Seer (29:16.8)

connecting you just to the 3D world, the one we live in, the one we want to bring our gifts into, the one we want to shine ourselves into.

And just imagining these roots. And then with each exhale, just know that anything that you want to let go of, anything that's no longer serving you, you can just imagine just kind of moving down into these roots.

Jina Seer (29:45.12)

And then Earth taking that energy and transmuting it, composting it.

Jina Seer (29:54.882)

To that fertile life force of Mother Earth. And you can just imagine on your inhales, you pull that energy in and up into you.

Jina Seer (30:08.928)

And just hold this vision in your mind, surrounded and protected by the light that you are, being connected to that divine healing, creative force.

Jina Seer (30:25.334)

And being connected to and in exchange with Earth.

Jina Seer (30:35.03)

And just be in that space, be in that vision.

Jina Seer (30:43.916)

And no, I'm gonna ask a question and you're just gonna listen to that question. And when any sort of answer comes to you, you're just gonna start writing. Even if that writing is like, I don't know, I'm not sure. Like you can work through all of that. And so the first question is

What part of me is ready to come more fully into my life?

Jina Seer (31:16.716)

What part of me is ready to come more fully into my life?

And I'm gonna actually put that question on the screen as well.

Jina Seer (31:52.249)

dang.

Jina Seer (31:57.704)

sorry about that first question, you guys. Keep writing that. That must have been some divine wires crossing. Here's another question. So write out that question and then here's another one. I'll recite that other one.

Where are you?

Jina Seer (32:17.154)

Yeah, so what part of me is ready to come more fully into my life?

Jina Seer (32:27.64)

And another way would be what would I allow myself to want if I did not have to know yet how it could happen?

Similar question, different ways, just write what feels good.

Jina Seer (34:25.646)

What part of you is ready to become more fully alive in your life?

Jina Seer (34:37.035)

What would you allow yourself to want?

If you didn't have to know how you were gonna make it happen.

Jina Seer (36:58.006)

Then if you're whenever you're ready for the next question, it just kind of builds on that. Like when you think about the part of you that you want to come forward, when you think about d deep desires you have, what does that desire or that part of you tell you about what matters to me, what you want more of?

Jina Seer (40:31.446)

And then whenever you're read it ready, we have the last question about like if you were to remember like that part of you that wants to come alive, this deep desire that you've had for a long time. If you were to remember that, like put it in the front of your mind, how would that change how you move in your life? And sometimes that's a big question. So you can just think of like tomorrow, you can think of this week. But how would that shift how you're operating?

In the next day or week.

Jina Seer (45:10.414)

So we'll go like another one, two minutes on the writing. But what I would be curious to know is just like anything that's unclear, anything that surprised you, or any questions that you have. this is such a nebulous blind spot topic. So it can it helps to kind of talk it out sometimes. but feel free to just wrap it up, keep writing as long as you need to.

Jina Seer (47:15.16)

Becky, are you done? Do you want to share? I'm curious what came up for you. Or if something was surprising. Yes, I am finished. okay. Well,

Once again I'm getting stuff about like beauty and

I think the the part of me that needs to come come more fully into my life now is part of me is that is more calm and peaceful and sure of myself, and the part of me that takes meaningful care of me. you know this, but I'm kind of going through like empty nesters and it was an unexpected.

like year early and so it's been emotionally hard and but it's also created space for me to like really, really start to care for myself. Zero excuses. Yeah. And I and I've you know and I I'm doing it. I'm doing it, but I was kind of like I think overall this exercise

Going through these questions helped me realize like the things that I want are not unattainable. like they could be could money help? Yeah, sure. Yeah. But the but the true things that I want are not connected to like physical things. Like, you know, I want a space where I can.

Jina Seer (49:12.652)

you know, feel and experience beauty and share it with, you know, people that I care about and people that also need to, you know, reconnect with the earth and be in nature and things like that. but really it's like when I look at it, the things that I want are very simple, peaceful, easeful. the l the world is so loud.

right now especially you know as as like people who are aware or empaths and it's like I'm just craving like I find myself sitting in silence more I'm just craving like peace and tranquility and calm and I think that's you know

When I think about what my life will be like after I'm done here on this planet, that's what I imagine. I imagine just being at ease and in peace and happiness and just experiencing those emotions more regularly all of the time. Yeah, I I love that too because it's totally building on something that like an experience that you already had, right? Like that one,

past life regression where you were like in the beauty of it. and I'm wondering too, okay, so couple questions. Because you've kind of been on a journey with it.

Do you feel like you have added more into it in your life? Like just like in your daily life, would you say you just have more of that peace and quiet? yes. Yes. And over the last year I have like intentionally sort of, you know, done things to to try to make my life more quiet. Yeah. Yeah. It's like in my human design, you know.

Jina Seer (51:22.582)

I am currently on the roof. I'm getting ready to come back down. But right now I'm on the roof and I'm still figuring things out. And like I'm the type of person I need I need peace and quiet to figure things out. You know? I need things like this, like connections that are like genuine and like we're doing something together to help each other like discover things about ourselves. And like this is the

I've intentionally done it and it's like also what I couldn't do, the universe was like, and we're ripping that away. So now you've really got to sit in some silence because there's no more distractions, no more blaming you not choosing yourself on anyone else. It's all now you have a blank slate. What you gonna do with it, girl? And that's what I'm figuring out. Hell yeah. Okay. So

This is just a very light theory of mine, but I think that so many people are pushed for more peace and quiet. Number one, it feels good, right? But I guess when I say people, I'm talking about like women like you, like me, like us. And I almost think that we kind of come from like this chaos of the world and we have this realization of like there's more to it than this chaos, and I want it.

And then we get these glimpses of like maybe what we could do, you know, Laura, like you were talking about. But I almost think everyone comes to this place where it's like they need that peace and quiet to get the ideas for the next phase. whether that's that's like on a grand scale, like here's my new vision, goal, direction, whatever. Here's my new purpose, my mission. Or it's like, even if you have that.

It's like we need I need that peace and quiet to fill in the details. Like I I'm it sounds like I'm being judgmental. I'm really not. Like I if you said you do this, I'm not judging you. But like to me, when I think of the way the typical person lives, which is like a lot of scrolling. They go to work, they're told what to do, they fight through that, they come home, they sit on the couch scrolling TV. And I'm like, How are you guys?

Jina Seer (53:51.454)

Not imploding, like, how do you know what's next? How do you do what's next? Like, I feel like a little out there sometimes because I need so much alone time and quiet to figure that stuff out. And I'm starting to realize that it's not that you can't ever scroll or watch TV, obviously, it's like a part of life, but like to honor that with the intention of and not even like a productivity thing, but just like

What can I do to get more of this vision in my life? It's almost like we need this space where we can pause, be in that, like be in the vibration of it, embody that peace and wisdom. Because in that peaceful state is where we want to build, right? Like I don't want to build a life when I'm in reaction mode and when I'm in an anxious or depressed state. I'm not making great decisions for my future.

I'm making things that are like, how can I get out of this thing now? How can I, you know, how can I blow off this thing? And I think what it is, is like to get into that peaceful state. Becky, I'm kind of wondering what your reaction is to this when I say it. When we're in that peaceful state, that's when we want the ideas. That's when we want to make decisions, that's when we want to build. Because from the state in which we take these actions,

Is more of what we're gonna get. Like, I just think how addicted to drama I used to be. And I didn't know it, right? And if you would have said that to me, I would have been like, fuck you, I am not addicted to drama. I hate this situation, you know, whatever. But I couldn't stop engaging in it. These people needed my help. I was so conditioned to seeing things negatively, blah, blah, blah. But it wasn't until I started.

putting myself in these calm, peaceful states where I could feel just a little more clarity, meaning I could feel myself without only feeling the heightened emotions. That's when I started getting real traction of like, these are the things that I want. You know, obviously like getting to know ourselves and knowing that vision. But that's a part of it is like being with ourself in that peaceful time. And so Becky, I'm curious what's your reaction to that just in general, if you have one.

Jina Seer (56:11.584)

And then if you wanted to drill down even more when you're because I know you've said that before. And so when you're in those peaceful times, do you feel like you get downloads or information or ideas about what's next? Or when you say on the roof, you're not ready to come down yet or whatever. I'm a I don't know what that is in human design, but like, is that an action thing? Like when you're on the roof, do you come

Do you need like ideas to come off the roof? I don't know. Go. It's well, from my understanding, it's it's sort of like I think of it like exactly what we're talking about. Like it's the root you're up on a roof, you got nothing to do but time. Think about how am I gonna get down? What and what am I gonna do when I get down? So it's like this time for me is like, yes.

The more time I spend in quiet and in contemplation and you know doing these journeys. I mean, I've been doing these, you know, what for like six, seven years now. And, you know, each year I f like I look back at how like my my thought process before I started to like disconnect from the loud things in my life. And it's like, yes, now I feel like

I am my who I am. Like this is it's not, I'm not being influenced by someone or something or outside and you know, outside things. Like I'm literally figuring out from within instead of going out and trying to figure out like, do you have the answer? Do they have the answer? Like I spent a lot, like my awakening, I spent a lot of time in in the beginning seeking people who had the answers. And then I met you and you're like,

Just the answers are inside of you. You're like, damn it. Like, my God. I needed to find Gina because that's what it is. It's like it's having someone who forces you to sit down and actually like think about how I would answer this question. Like life is so fast. And it's like we don't make a lot of people don't make time for this.

Jina Seer (58:32.226)

Don't journal most of the time unless it's something, some exercise I'm doing with you or through something new that you're doing, you know. And it is like it has totally shifted my my mindset. You know, I I want, I crave the peace and quiet and stuff. And it's not that I don't enjoy other people or anything like that, but it's like right now I'm finding that I'm getting more and more sure of myself.

The more time I spend just sort of processing and figuring out, you know, what do I actually want? How do I actually want my life to look, you know? Yeah. Aside from all these other influences that my problem, and I didn't say this in the beginning, is like I had a lot of clear ideas of what I wanted in my life. And I've changed my life multiple times and and every

It's I swear to God, it's like almost every single time once I got there and got to what I thought I wanted, it was like want this. Like, this is not at all what I thought it was gonna be. You know what I mean? So I think I'm almost scared because of that to dream about what I want. So this this felt good though. You know, this felt good. This doesn't feel like, if you don't get that that high paying job, that's not your your dreams are never gonna come true.

This feels attainable, you know? Yeah. It's not connected to that materialistic type of thought process that I once had. And don't and I would say neither one of them is wrong. Right. Right. But for me, one is. I found out the hard way that it wasn't the right one for me. You know? For still they'd be great. So one thing I will say about that, something I've been thinking about.

A lot is just this this idea of like when when we upgrade, like say you're gonna go for that big job or the relationship or you're moving or whatever, you're making a big change. It's always uncomfortable on the other side of it. Every time I get a tattoo, the next day I'm like, fuck, why did I get this? I like have this panic, but I know I want it.

Jina Seer (01:00:56.248)

But I have this panic and it happens to me all the time, like with almost every change. But what I've started to notice is that when I'm clear on like what I'm going after, whether it is like a 3D thing, like a job or a situation or whatever, or it's something on the inside, when I am so sure about my path and where I'm going, when I encounter that expansion, that discomfort of the next level.

That used to annihilate me with self-doubt. And I used to be like, what did I do? And then that self-doubt would erode my self-trust, my confidence. And now that I know I have a clear vision of where I'm going. Whether I get there, I'm not attached to it. It's just like, I know this is the direction I'm headed into. Will it look just like that? Probably not. I mean, but I know that having that vision.

and now when I get to a place where it feels uncomfortable, I can say to myself,

This is who you're becoming, bitch. Like, this is why it's uncomfortable because you are not her yet. And I think of like, I wanted to learn martial arts and like learn how to fight in the street, like heavy on the martial, light on the art. Like if someone attacks me, I want to be able to give it all I got in like a very organized way. And when we started sparring, completely unrelated to it, a part of me was like,

Maybe I'm done with this. And it was just like when I spar, I'm like, I feel like I have pin prick vision. I'm like terrified. I'm like, do not fuck up my face. I hate to say that I'm this shallow, but I am that shallow. Like, I don't need my nose to be bigger and more crooked. Like, don't do it. I don't don't knock out a tooth. But in that, it was like I had to be like, isn't this interesting? I'm having a thought.

Jina Seer (01:02:59.37)

Of like maybe I shouldn't be doing this while I'm on this precipice, this like learning edge. and since then, I'm able to like breathe while I spar, which was a big deal to me. I can actually like see what's going on, you know, anticipate the move. So it's like also knowing what you want will tell you in that time of discomfort: like, how should you operate?

Is this something that's taking you to the next level? Or is this something that's just like a bunch of bullshit and you can tell, like, this was my trauma that was driving this goal? Shit. And that sucks, but you learned stuff on the way, you're learning things now, you'll use it again in the future. but yeah, I love that. I love that idea. And also what I'll say, Becky, thank you for sharing that. I'll also say I don't know a lot about the roof and human design, like I said.

But I think that the roof is addicting. The way you described it, for me, there's no better feeling than I'm about to start this really cool thing that's going to get me to where I want to go. That's the best feeling when there's that potential. But when I'm in the fucking mud, when I'm on Instagram for the 10th time today, and I still only have this many followers, you know what I mean? It's like I am not seeing clients one-on-one.

I am in a space in my work where I have little to no positive validation telling me I'm doing the right thing. But I know I'm doing the right thing. I'm trying to scale this bitch, grow this bitch. Like I want people to do this stuff. Like we're doing it here. Like explore on your own. Let's come together, have a conversation about it. But I have a lot of work to do before that.

Is like sustaining me in the positive affirmation, like the positive response in the world, money, accolades, kind words from clients. Like I am in this gross spot right now where it's like I have to carry that flag for myself. And I am not great at it some days. But I will tell you what, I'm way better at it today, in September, than I was in January. Like the first couple weeks of not seeing clients.

Jina Seer (01:05:22.282)

one on one, face to face, getting that positive reinforcement. I was like, Am I doing the right thing? Does anybody care? And it's like, yes. And guess what, Gina? It's your job to get more people to care. And I will. But I like, if I wasn't so clear on who I am and where I'm going, that would have crushed me.

Like I would still be, I would have been like, fuck it. I'll just go back to seeing people one on one, blah, blah, blah. It was good enough. And it's like, no, I know I can do more. I know I can lead more people. So I think that part of it too for me was like realizing like the potential of it all is always so intoxicating. I actually feel like shit a lot of times when I'm like in the trench trying to turn the ship around. And

So anyway, I just wanted to say that in case that's helpful to anybody else. But yeah, that part, but also it's necessary to realize you're on the roof and to be like, I need to get some ideas when I am in the state I want to be in. Calm, confident, peaceful, energized, whatever. and to put that more into your life. And then to know, like, I'm just looking for ideas here, and I'm just like,

waiting for things to pop up and until they do, I'm just gonna kick it here because it's amazing. Yeah. Thanks, Becky. Anyone else wanna share? Yes, Jesse. I'll definitely go. Cool. Okay, mine was a little surprising too. you know, I guess a little backstory is I feel like

Just the whole my whole life theme is that I'm kind of wandering around like this with some blinders on and I can't remember anything. I just feel like I'm constantly like, I hope I stumble in the right direction and get my life together. and it has worked out, you know, pretty well. But it that feeling of like not knowing drives me nuts. And I just like whenever I do the

Jina Seer (01:07:34.146)

the spiritual stuff we're getting in, I'm always like, why can I not remember anything? This was not kind to throw me back into this mix and not remember anything. I hate that. But one surprising thing came up is they kind of like, when I was writing it said that you're only using like eighty-five percent of yourself, like your real self and your daily life. And I and that fits, you know, I'm definitely doing the roles. I, you know, I got the two kids that are doing a lot of their stuff. Gotta do it. Yeah. Yes. And I'm

Like they're in school now, and I'm having these open, bigger windows opening of where I can do stuff for myself. And I feel like I've constantly been on the road of like, what do I want to do? Who am I? What do I want to do with myself? What I've, you know, all the things. And, you know, they and I feel like I constantly have that that voice or drive in the back to like, to that's pushing me that I'm trying to hear. And some of that kind of came up. But what was interesting is I feel like.

I lately I have been so depleted in my own energy. And usually I'm a pretty high, I've got a ton, I've got, I'm gonna throw it everywhere. And when you were kind of talking about the drama addiction, I'm c I call it like chaos hopping. It's where like one crisis, one crisis happens, you gotta manage crisis fire, and then the next one pops, and the next one, and then this particular season of my life, like we

My husband and I have made some changes and then we're not in crisis mode one after another anymore. We kinda like you said, kind of got rid of some of the people and things that nice contribute to that. And you're kind of like, it was almost like a withdrawal. I'm like, well, now what do I do with my time and all this energy? And then it's kind of gone into like, I feel like I'm trying to throw excess amount of energy into all these places that don't even fit. I'm just like, here I am. I got all this energy. What should we do with it? How can I help you? What do you want me to do? And there are people are kind like,

This is that's a lot. That's a lot for them. And then so what they said is that I need to like pull it back a little bit, refine, have a little bit more like perspective and read the situation room, which I usually do, but I think it's a lot more of like instead of just throwing myself into these things that I think might be draining all of my energy and why like I feel like on a regular basis that I'm so drained. is because I'm just trying to throw it anywhere.

Jina Seer (01:09:56.332)

And I feel like I my my natural state is I do feel like I have a lot of this joyous vitality energy that I want to put into things and I do a lot of creation for work and things like that. And it's just feels so forced. And then I think that like this season is coming and I'm hearing a lot more of like, you gotta get quiet to actually hear yourself. You like have to sit still. You can't be doing 50 things at once, even though

Saying that out loud is sounds exhausting. I'm like, I don't know why I would do any of that in the first place. But it's it's like your default setting. Yeah. like it's yeah, it's wild. And I and then you and then the other one that I have a hard time with is the guilt factor of not doing a bunch. So it's like if you're sitting for like, I don't know, c like an hour or so just trying to listen to yourself or doing the downtime stuff, it's like, gosh, I should be doing a bunch of other stuff. Other people in my life that see me doing this.

You know, they're like, you probably should be doing other stuff with your time. And I'm like, well, that's not what's coming up for me now. You know, it's like maybe I do need to sit with my tarot cards for an hour. It takes that long to read them. So, you know, like I I get it. And I did this year is so funny. The human design came up. I went down that rabbit hole full force. And then I was like, I was like, this is a lot. I gotta back it up because it's a lot of information.

That I don't understand. But that is but even that, like because I I resonate with that so much. Like, even the idea of like sitting in meditation. And maybe this is a part of me that will change in the future. But I'm like, I would rather be walking and like doing something like I don't need more time in this position. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I I should be like up moving around.

So it's like make it yourself. And like I feel like too, the way you describe that, just like the energy in being able to read people, because I'm the same way. Like I can see someone's potential. I don't know if it's like a mirror ball, it doesn't appear anyone else has this, but I'm like, if you just did A, B, and C, you would be soaring. And the people who have like the people who I've overgiven to, not clients.

Jina Seer (01:12:14.274)

But the people in my life who I've overgiven to, that's where I have a problem with boundaries, is like they have I have like helped a man retire who made more in his first quarter working online than he did the year before not working online, like having a more brick and mortar situation. I h I've helped people like scale the corporate ladder while keeping their fucking mind intact. And it's like these people did not ask for that.

You know what I mean? And I had to wrestle some of these people. It took years to do it. And it's like that was my thing. Big, big layer of that came off of me last year, where I was like, how do I put this into myself? And just how you were saying that, it's like, yeah, fuck yeah. Do your tarot cards. Like, learn even more about human design. Because with all of your energy, it's like, yeah, you should be watering the gardens that are going to be like.

Beautiful for you to look at, beautiful for you to sit in, whether it's like yourself or other people, like you have kids and stuff like that. So it's like you really do have you do have other people to like pour into, right? And so to be able to like take some of that for yourself and apply it. I know for me that's like how I do a lot of like my I don't know, studying astrology is kind of like this little marble in my hand that I'm always kind of like.

rolling around and it helps my brain because I just am always like thinking, thinking, thinking. And that has slowed down. I've gotten that to slow down a little bit. But when it's hard to kind of chill out and be like, well, what am I supposed to be doing right now though? Like I'm just waiting for ideas. And so in that space, if that doesn't feel intuitively like it would feel good, like sometimes it might. I know I'm getting that is growing more and more in my mind. But

In those times where it's like, okay, well, I have a natural interest in this thing that really serves me. So I'm gonna do it. And serves me in the sense I'm talking about like you getting to know you, you getting to know the answers to these big questions that you've already had. And so be very creative with how you do that. So, like if you're like, I need an hour to read my tarot cards, do it. Like, why not? You know what I mean? I know. Like, why not? And

Jina Seer (01:14:38.324)

I mean, I have had a tarot practice for like, I don't know, over ten years, but I have even gone through phases where I don't use them. I've gone through phases where I'm like I have I made like basically my own tarot deck, not not the actual cards, but like here's what a four of cups means to me. I have this deck of no cards and it's like I'm never gonna publish it. No one's ever gonna see it. Like I'm the one who uses it every Sunday. I'm like, what does this card mean? Cause I can't fucking remember.

But I have but it's so it's like but it's so cool because I did that for myself and it serves me only me. And so in those times too, I think it's good to like go down the rabbit holes. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fulfills good. I think it's like this, it's interesting. I think the col like the messages is like, you know, you're putting so much energy into these places that isn't necessarily serving and putting into like these more creative outlets that do feel good.

that need to, you know, might help rebuild your revitalization. But I definitely got that. You've got to like be calm enough and quiet enough to hear yourself. And if you're running around like crazy person doing all the things, you can't hear yourself at all. Yeah. And then, you know, let go of all of the, you know, the supposed to's and the guilts of what you should be doing with your time when it's just it's your time. It's nobody else's time. So you know, why put let those imposed things on you when it's

You know, it's your life. You get to do what you want with it. Amen. Amen. And I'll even build on that, that part where you were like, you just have to like let those things go. And for me, it was like first noticing that I was even living by Like for so long, they were just like in the background. And then it was like, Well, I don't know how to let this go. And it's like, I have to do something else. And and when I talk about my addiction to drama, it's like, sure, it was mine, but it was like other people like

The amount of time I would spend talking about and thinking about other people's drama, it's like, I couldn't get enough. And so it was like just my thoughts. It was just like, where are my thoughts going when I'm alone, when I'm driving, when I'm not even with these people? And that is a crazy realization. But I think as we kind of like turn that focus inward, all of those shoulds.

Jina Seer (01:17:01.918)

All of this unnecessary chaos hopping. I love the way you put it becomes like so clear. Yeah. And then when we see it in our life, it's so painful and annoying where it's like, here it is again. And it's just like, I used to think I was failing, and now it's happened to me so much that I can't attach failure to that. And so instead it's just like, my God, I know it. And now it's here for a lot less time or it's not even showing up anymore.

that that piece has been so big because we're always like you shouldn't do the shoulds, you shouldn't do the shoulds, you should, you know, whatever, spend time on yourself. But when we get to that space, it's often hard to be like, in why? You know what I mean? Like, how do we and so if you know we're all programmed to be so productive, so to make it productive for you, like study human design, astrology, tarot, or or whatever, like whatever your healing practice might be.

and and too for me the way I keep that, it's like I the way I start every day. I don't feel addicted to drama now. I actually had this interesting brush with my family. On my last road trip, I was gonna go to Minnesota and I sent my sister a text and what she texted back with, I was just like

my god, these people are in their drama addiction. And like I, pardon me, was like, hit her back with A, B, and C. She always watches your stories. So maybe do some shit in your stories where she feels dumb. You know what I mean? Like very blatantly, where she would be the or not blatantly, but like incognito. And I'm like, bro, you are that is drama. Block this bitch. Like.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. Like I wish it wasn't true. But it was just like this weird brush of like, that's why I have my distance. And so it's kind of fun, even like when these things circle back, whether it's people or our own tendencies, as we grow and evolve, it gets so clear to be like, whoa, I do not do that shit anymore. Cause I think when we're reflective, we are used to kind of seeing the issues. I want to change this thing. I want to improve this thing. And it

Jina Seer (01:19:19.04)

It can be hard to see the progression. And it can be hard to be like, Am I even changing? Like, what am I doing here? But when we circle back to these like people or situations, and then it's a time where we're like, Okay, okay, well, I am not that bad. I used to be right in those trenches with her. And I'm just like, I'm that those are not conversations I have anymore. And yeah, you know, so it can be like this growth thing too.

when we get that shit back in our life for a second, we can be like, that's not me anymore. You gotta leave. Thank you. Thank you. Laura, did you wanna share anything? I just want to give you a chance. No pressure.

Jina Seer (01:20:05.644)

You're still on mute. There we go. Okay. Trying to unmute myself. my gosh, Gina. Well, okay. So much is just flooding in me right now. And what I've been facing the most with is just questioning myself constantly about spirituality and identity and truly like you know fitting into the molds that have been poured for me in my life. But I don't

fit into those molds. But I've tried so hard because that's what's been dictated to me. Yes. And now I'm realizing like that's not my mold. And and and and because I've been programmed to think like, well, you you need to fit in this spiritual mold that you've been given. And you need to fit into this mom mold that you've been given and you need to fit into this wife mold that you've been given. And I'm like, you know, so I I try because that's

the way that I've been wired to please you know you be a you could become a people pleaser and then it just inside feels so wrong. But then you just live because that's that's what you do. so so I'm so now ever since and like I I wrote this on the last line or of my journal just now like truly Gina like you have helped me return to myself like I'm grateful beyond belief.

That's gonna ring in my head the next time I'm sitting here alone having a low moment. I truly hope so because when I said earlier, like I've had all of these things in me since a child and I journaled all throughout, like ever since I could write, I've I've journaled and I journaled all throughout my teen years and then all of a sudden it stopped. It it it stopped when I

met my husband, it stopped when I had the kids, it stopped when I started my career. And I would d dabble in it every now and then. But truly it wasn't until I started listening to you and your podcast that I was like, my God. And I've filled like three journals in a year now. And just everything is flooding out. so these are the big questions that I have and they truly like it parallels like what you just said. And it's

Jina Seer (01:22:23.85)

Why is it so hard to trust the distance I'm creating between the people who make me cringe the most? And why does it feel so wrong and shameful to be this way? my second question like, why is communication against the big personality so hard? And I struggle so much with facing the hard stuff? It's like I've been modeled avoidance in my life. I've been modeled

you when hard stuff happens you you turn away because that's the easy path and so what i've learned is like i truly i don't know how to communicate like and that's where that anger comes from and i'm i'm listening to that anger more because that anger is there because it's telling me fucking talk like tell people what you want and tell people who you are and it's okay to be who you are

And if those people aren't going to accept you as who you are, then you need to build a fence or you need to, you know, give them one key to one door that you have, and you're like, okay, well, I'm gonna decide when that door is gonna be open for you to come in. Yeah. but I ch and and so what I struggle the most with, I think, is just my role as a mom where I

I have two Scorpio children. So they are just they've got a lot of personality and a lot of stuff. And and I instinctively like I feel like I I know how to parent them. And like I but then my spouse and I we have different parenting styles and you know, so that becomes hard. And then my family too, you know, I have

observers who are always judging, well, you know, you shouldn't do be doing this. And so then I have that internal conflict in me all the time. And then I build resentment. And then I'm just like Yes. God. And so so the resentment, so I truly I feel like I have this ball of resentment that I there was a question that came into my where did I write it down?

Jina Seer (01:24:47.596)

It's something about where in your life do you need to trust yourself the most? And I pulled an oracle card and the oracle card said lay it on the altar. And I thought, what does that mean? But it just filled me with so much emotion that I just I couldn't like I couldn't stop crying. And it just came out and I thought, what what does that lay on the altar mean? And it said soften, like trust yourself that you don't need to carry this heavy shit anymore.

that you you can lay it down because it's not a part of you. But I can't I can't bring myself to lay it down and I don't know where what that block is. What why why do I feel like I need to hold on to this anger and this resent like and I just don't know. I so that's that's where I'm at. Okay. I love that because it's so

Fucking real and honest. And I

I have so much to say. What do I want to say? Okay. So first, that heavy shit is keeping you in line. That heavy shit is has served you. You probably have a good life right now. Like if you would look around and be like, This is a good life. Like that's who built that life. But who's building the next phase? Like that's who you got to get into contact with, which you are. Like that's a whole excavation thing.

for me, I another thing I'll say, if you if anyone ever feels called to be a healer, to help people, I truly believe that it is your path that you study and that's how you help people. So this is probably not how it's gonna happen for you, but in this moment, for example, maybe your best life is you.

Jina Seer (01:26:53.848)

Helping people get through this phase in their life. And you're like, that can't be true. I can't get through that phase. you're gonna get through that phase. And all you have to do is like put a mantra in your mind, put something in your mind. So when any sort of doubt comes in about the vision that you're creating, about the direction you're going.

You say you say that. And actually, this woman, I just saw this on Instagram. These people are like my coworkers at this point. I just saw on Instagram. This woman was like the 11 word phrase I use that changed my world or something like that. And it was literally like this, this is the interesting way that things are working out for me.

So anything difficult she would come into, anything that like say she thought this job was gonna be the thing and then she got fired or whatever, you would say in that moment, this is how, this is the unconventional way I'm getting what I want. So it's like rem I think it just reminds us that like your path, you don't know what it is because no one's ever walked it before. It's yours. And you can take like other people who have had similar terrain on their path and be like, How'd you do it? What'd you do?

but the more you dissect and the more strength you have to be in that pain, be in that resentment, the more it's gonna make sense. And the more it makes sense to you, the more automatic these changes are gonna become. It's never probably gonna feel easy. I just don't know if life on earth ever feels easy. At least for me, when it feels easy, then the terror comes in, like, what if this person dies? You're gonna die too soon, you know, whatever. It never fucking ends.

It never ends. So I think that it's like you have you will gain the capacity to hold all of that stuff and understand all of that stuff. And in that, it'll feel like it's going away because you've been educated. Now you're acting differently. But you'll also have the strength to be like, I feel angry, but I don't have to act like it. Right. Like it it for me, anger was like.

Jina Seer (01:29:15.47)

How I did things. It was just like how I was since I was a little kid. I've heard that's like an Aries moon thing. I don't know. But I, for me, it was like I had to sink into that anger because I would be ashamed of it. I'd shut it off. I had many reasons to be ashamed of my anger. And when I started road tripping, and not that you need to go on some big road road trip, but in 2021.

I would spend, I was in a minivan, which was so good. And I would spend so much time in the back of that fucking minivan just crying. Like, what'd you do in Joshua Tree? Laid the back of my van and cried while looking at a beautiful landscape. You know what I mean? Sometimes we have to like grieve the shit we did to ourselves. Like for me, that was it was like seeing.

It's been like layers of layers of like seeing how I did these things to myself. And that was a lot of the anger that was coming up. I think we've had this conversation of like it looks like anger at other people. Other people deserve to be angry at, but that's not serving me. And it was like the moment I started to see like how much I've been putting up and how much that anger plagued me. But in that, I've started to understand these things make me angry. I can avoid them.

These things make me angry. How am I going to flush that anger out of my system when I'm done? And I was an overgiver and I would feel so much resentment, so much like things were owed to me because I did all these things for these other people. That's not the way the world works. And that was just another like awful truth I had to find out over and over again. But when I finally got it, it was like,

I'm just gonna become obsessed with myself, which sounds bad, no one wants to hear it, but I'm so obsessed with myself in making my life better so I can help other people. I mean, not so I can help other people. I don't want to get into that trap, but like I naturally I believe that humans, when we're filled up, we want to give from the overflow. It feels good. And so that's where I wanna live. So instead of getting caught up in my sister's drama to try to

Jina Seer (01:31:33.154)

be in my people pleasing and stay in my family's good graces, which doesn't happen. Instead, it was like, I'll just become obsessed with myself. How can I make these feelings do something? And I tell you what, like my anger and annoyance and like disgust with my family's behavior has gotten me so clear on my messaging. And now I feel like I can show up on Instagram and when I post something, people are like, I feel like you're talking to me. It's like, that's because I'm talking to me.

And I finally fucking understand me. Like clearer than ever. And next year I'm gonna be even more clear. And the year after that, I'm gonna be even more clear. And so it's almost like you're never gonna be in a more difficult situation than you are right now. When we realize the rock of emotions that are on us, studying it, trying to get out from underneath it, that's the hardest part.

But every day it gets easier. It should get lighter. Not every day, you know, it kind of goes like this, but the trend is to get easier the more you know yourself. But I don't know. I think there's magic in a woman who has a lot of anger. I do. Like the world thinks it's bad. They'd want her to be quiet. I think she's about to do some shit. That's what I think. And so keep journaling and keep like doing that. And yeah, I can't wait to see what you do.

And I'm here for you on your journey, right? Like you're gonna fall on your face. I'll be falling on my face too. Like we're all learning and growing. But that to me, it's like, what kind of magic is in there? Cause that part of you, because I'll tell you the part of me that used to be so angry that I would stuff the way I see it, that's the CEO. And she gave up because I never did anything for us. And so she was like, fine, you wanna be, you wanna sell this company out, whatever.

But the CEO of my brain is now like, now you pay attention to me. And now it's even more clear. Like, hey, you're in your people pleasing right now. Hey, that person's no good. Hey, don't go down that path. Or hey, you used to put up with this shit. You don't anymore. Hey, you used to feel bad when you had an angry reaction. And now I'm on my side. Like when I'm angry, people deserve it. And I bet the same is true for you. When you're angry, people deserve it.

Jina Seer (01:33:55.692)

It's just how comfortable are you in that? And that was me too, of like disconnecting from other people's emotions. I was like a little vampire and I didn't even know it. I was like people pleasing so I could get happiness from them. I was overachieving so I could get validation. And it was like a lot of that started making me just feel really resentful and angry. And now it's like, I can see how all of that was like an addiction to me.

and I don't mean to make light of an addiction. I that's when people talk about an addiction, like, I don't know, I just got into the experience and everything went out the window and pretty soon I was doing the thing. That is literally how codependence and people pleasing are for me. Like I don't even know I'm doing it. I in my 30s, I would have never identified as a codependent people pleaser. I was like, these people drive me crazy. I'm just trying to keep them fucking calm so I don't kill them. And it's like

Or get out of the relationship. You know, and not that that is your path necessarily, but like sometimes we have to have these like really blatant nasty feelings to be like, okay, what is what? And it fucking sucks. And so lay it on the altar. I would write that on my mirror. I would put that on post-it notes when I was mad, or if you're ever in a situation where you just feel that ball and you're like, I just

To get it out of me. Cause I used to feel that. I used to just feel like electric chest. And I do feel it every once in a while, but it's pretty rare. But like when I would feel it, it was like I had to write, I had to talk. So lay it on the altar. Cause I when you lay it on the altar, you're gonna be able to see it clearly. So whatever that means to you. That's the mantra. Okay, so thank you. This is running over. I obviously love to talk about this stuff.

So what I'm curious about before we close this thing, I just want to say, just a reminder, the next gathering is gonna be October 4th, which is a Sunday. And my plan for that is to come and I'll let you know before it, but just taking these conversations, anything anyone else like comments about. But what I want to do is go deeper into the return to yourself practice, which is a short, like a five-minute practice. There's a guided

Jina Seer (01:36:20.364)

Hypnotic journey, which is probably around 30, 40 minutes. I don't exactly remember what. and then there's a few other things in there, like note taking. There's a body signal map. What I want to do is take like a couple weeks or maybe three weeks and really dive into those pieces. So every I took some notes on what you all shared here, just kind of like where you're at on your journey, things you might be struggling with. And I want to put that together. And of course, anytime we meet, there will be a replay. So it's not like you have to come live.

but I'll be putting that together. So if you have anything else you want to share, like this would be really helpful, or I get stuck here, or I would really like your advice on this thing, whether it's like difficult conversations or visualizing or whatever, you know, the whole gamut of it. This idea of getting to know yourself, knowing what you want, moving in that direction, I just think that's the key to like.

Having difficult conversations, setting and keeping boundaries. I worked so much on communication and boundary setting for like 15 years. And when I figured out who the fuck I am truly and where I am going, it made things crystal clear. Boundaries? I mean, I guess I have them, but it's more so like, you're either for me or against me. Are you holding me back from my mission? Then you're fucking out.

I don't care what you think and I don't have kids, right? I live alone. So it's easy for me to be like, you're out forever until I have a change of mind. But even that, we can distance and be like, I need this time for myself, or I need when I'm here, don't don't touch me, don't talk to me, whatever. you can adjust that to your life.

It's like when we know where we're going, these difficult conversations become easy and we can find our way through our anger. We can even say things like, I'm really angry about this. I have to talk, I have to think about this before I come back. Or, I'm having a lot of emotion about this. That is my signal to not do it or to, you know, take this to my journal or whatever. But when we know ourselves and when we know where we're going and where we're headed and what we are intentionally using our energy on.

Jina Seer (01:38:31.65)

Whether you think of that as your life purpose or your mission, whatever we're convicted about just makes all of that stuff so easy and clear. So it's like, what's my reward for being in this b abusive relationship? I can say that I talk to my dad regularly. Pass.

Are you gonna grow up? I would love it if you grew up. I grew up somehow. You know what I mean? Like it's so that becomes so clear to me where I would spend so much time trying to explain my boundaries and I wish you could do this, and this hurts me when you do that. And it just got so clear to me, like you're either for me or against me. And I'm a good person, I'm a good time. I'm sure you all are too. So it's like, if why would we be around people who are tearing us down?

Because of all the shoulds, you know, and because of how we were trained to see ourselves and our big emotions. And so that excavation can kind of feel like a lot. I'm rambling. What I want to say is let me know if you have questions. Let me know if you think of like a part of that whole process that you could really use help with. I'll take all of that into consideration. Yes. All right. Let's do a little breath quick.

Warm up those healing hands, put your mitt somewhere on your body, just blink your eyes closed, feel yourself in the chair, feel yourself where you're at. And then let's just close this split this space with one full breath together. So blow all your air out of your lungs. Take a deep breath in.

In a full breath out.

Jina Seer (01:40:15.022)

Cleansed, clear. Woo! Thank you all so much for coming. I really appreciate you. I'll talk to you soon. Have a good day. Good Saturday. See ya.